Truth: I'm not the world's greatest mom

I don't know how they do it--The moms whose blog posts I see on Pinterest or on my Facebook news feed who seem to have it altogether.  They post pictures of their kids and the craft, life lesson, or book they worked with today.  Everyone is happy and smiling, and in the end there is a great finished product that they created with their children.  Either those moms are way better than me, or their pictures are only telling half of the story. 

I fall into the comparison trap like so many other moms.  I want to do the best things for my kids, spend time with them, create things for them and with them, raise them in a healthy, happy home that is free of fast food and too much sugar.  Then reality strikes. I try to do a fun craft at my house...Exhibit A

and my 18 month old is crawling on the table trying to get into the paint we are using, my 3 year old has disappeared with a wet paint brush, and my 4 year old is whining to let him do it by himself.  These are pictures you wouldn't see on my post.  You also wouldn't see me yelling at my 3 year old for painting on the wall in her room during the 10 seconds I'm washing her little brother's hands.  (Exhibit B)

There would be no pictures of happy children painting shirts because now it's me trying to finish the craft without wanting to harm myself or my children.  Finally, there would not be pictures of the Jack in the Box we all ate for dinner because the stress the fun craft created deterred me from wanting to make anything for dinner. 

I'm not saying my house is always in mass chaos, but I would love to see some more posts about how crazy life can get, especially with toddlers/preschoolers, so that we don't feel like we are in this alone.  I would love to see pictures of dirty houses with piles of laundry and kids who are pouting  or crying because their show ended on Netflix and you told them it was time to get up and play.  The internet allows us the opportunity to put on a show for the world.  We appear to have a perfect life on our social media when, in actuality, we are posting our next Facebook status in the restroom trying to hide from our kids for 5 minutes of peace.

At the end of the day I need to remember that God doesn't look at the outward appearance, He looks at the heart.  It doesn't matter what I say on Facebook or post on my blog, it's about the motives of my heart.  Am I trying to look like a great mom/wife/teacher to the world, or is that what I truly desire to be?  My prayer is that my husband and kids know that I love them more everyday no matter what goes on behind the scenes/screen.

A Moment's Peace

After a long week, month, year at my job, I find myself relaxing at one of the most popular places to sit--Starbucks.  This is definitely a rare occasion.  My husband loves me for sure!  He has had all three kids today while I've been at work, and he offered to take them tonight so I could have my moment of peace.  As I sat down to drink my chai tea latte (I hate coffee!), I could not decide what to do.  I have so many different things that I could work on that I usually don't have time for at home.  I could write, blog, read, work on school work, play a game, or just sit and people watch.  It seems like so many things to do and so little time.  As I look around this coffee house, there are at least 10-15 other people here.  Some are studying or working and others are just visiting.  It is much calmer at 8 in the evening here.  I can only imagine what it looks like 12 hours prior to this--people in a hurry to get to work or school, trying to grab that last minute caffeine rush.  I wish I liked coffee because I could use caffeine at 7 in the morning when I'm heading to work.  

It makes me wonder, though.  If I liked coffee, I could make time for it, which could be paralleled with the statement, if I liked God, I could make time for Him.  I'm sure it sounds funny to hear it as "liking" God instead of "loving" Him, but isn't that our standard for priorities?  Even the things we just like, we make time to do.  In the list of things to do during my moment's peace, I thought, I could read some scripture, which was quickly followed by, I could do that later, though. 

I suppose that we take advantage of the people and things we love the most because we think they'll always be around for us.  God has even promised that he would never forsake us, so to the bottom of the list He goes.  We tend to fill our lives and time with all of these things we like to do, but we forget what He says in Psalm 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.  When life is filled with the traffic of people, words, obligations, and wants, we need to stop and remember the One who will be exalted among the nations and the earth, and we need to exalt Him.  We need to know His power and glorify His name, and we need to make time for Him because we more than like Him.

Put down the coffee, the book, the phone, the computer and spend time with Him first because out of all those things we like, or even love, to do, He is the only one who loves us back.

I am not cut out for this

I have always thought of myself as a pretty stable person, or at least someone with a purpose and direction, but lately, that does not seem to be the case.  Every night I am looking online for something bigger and better than what I am currently doing.  I like my job, but I guess I expected it to be different.  I expected to love my job.  I expected to want to get up every morning and go to work with a certain "joie de vivre."  After 7 years at the same job, teaching the same subject, I find that I'm lacking that new teacher spirit that I once felt, and I am not sure if I want it back.  I suppose everything in life is like this, though.  You start a new job, friendship, relationship or buy a new car or house, and at first, it's honeymoon-like: you love it and can't imagine your life without it.  Then the new subsides.  It gains some wear and tear, and you begin to question why you loved it so much.  The zeal is gone, and now it's time to move on to something bigger and better.

The inevitable question remains: Is there something bigger and better?  I've never had another professional job, so maybe this is as good as it gets.  My emotions and ideas have tossed me back and forth like a wave in the ocean.  My thoughts have shifted from one extreme to the next from a M-F job filing papers all day, every day to starting a nonprofit organization or running for a local office.  In this frustration period, all of those ideas actually seem good.  I feel like I'm running on a treadmill toward a goal that I'll never reach, and every time I look away, the goal changes.  My purposeful, intentional life seems much more scattered than I had planned. I am definitely not cut out for this listlessness.  

This past Sunday, Dave Edwards, our d|Now speaker, spoke about frustration and referenced Genesis 40.  Joseph was imprisoned and he interpreted the dreams of the cupbearer and baker.  The cupbearer's dream promised restoration to Pharaoh's palace, but the baker's dream prophesied his death.  In return for his interpretation of the dreams, Joseph asked the cupbearer to remember him when he had Pharaoh's ear.  However, when three days passed and the dreams were fulfilled, verse 23 says "Yet the chief cupbearer did not remember Joseph, but forgot him."  How many days do you think it took before Joseph realized the cupbearer had not mentioned him to Pharaoh?  How frustrating to think your help went unnoticed.  How many times have we felt like Joseph though?  Trapped in our situation whatever it may be, and praying for God to release us from our frustration, our hurt, our suffering.  

My favorite part of the sermon, though, was what came next...Genesis 41.  Two years later, the cupbearer did remember Joseph.  He was able to interpret the Pharaoh's dreams, and he became one of the most powerful men in the land.  I love how Dave put it:  "For every 40, there is a 41."  No matter how frustrating life gets, no matter how lost we feel, God is there in chapter 40, and He is preparing us for chapter 41.  So, that is my prayer right now.  My prayer is to have the patience for this chapter 40 in my life, my prayer is to find a purpose that is not my own, but His, and my prayer is for God to prepare my heart for wherever He may lead.  I may not be cut out for this, but He is.

Confessions of a Pinterest Addict

Hi, my name is Kristin.....and I'm a Pinterest addict.  

As I've been experiencing the joys of Christmas break, I find that one of my favorite ways to spend my time is surfing Pinterest.  It is one of the best sites out there for people who love ideas and have no time to do them, or is that just me?  I have 1,521 pins and 202 likes, which means I have spent no less than 1800 minutes (30 hours) on this site.  Spread out over a year, this doesn't seem so bad, but I know it is definitely more like 50 hours, and I work full time so it could be even worse.  I think I have a problem, and I don't think I'm the only one.  I'm thinking I may need to establish a support group for Pinterest addicts, but I haven't found a pin for that kind of meeting.  Although I did find this cute pin:

Therefore, one of my goals for the new year (I just can't bring myself to admit that I have resolutions) is to spend less time on Pinterest.  I'm not giving it up.  That'd just be crazy!  There really are great ideas on there, and it's better than pulling paper out of magazines to save in a box that you'll never open again.  I will, however, set some guidelines for myself to follow.  If you, too, feel addicted to Pinterest, feel free to use these:    

1) Only check Pinterest half of the time.  This just means I won't check it everyday *fingers crossed*  I can find far better things to do with my time, like actually doing some of the projects I've pinned.  I can spend all day finding projects to do, but unless I actually do them,  I've been even more wasteful with my time than when I started.

2) Don't waste time or money. If I don't have the time to do dishes or laundry, then I don't have time for Pinterest.  In other words, if my sink looks like this: 

Not my sink (but could be)

then I should not be looking on Pinterest for ways to have a cleaner house.  It is so much easier to sit in front of my computer than to get up and do dishes, but part of being a Proverbs 31 woman is taking care of my household, even when I don't feel like it.  This also means that if we don't have our own money to spend on Pinterest projects, we shouldn't spend the money (unless agreed upon with the hubby).

3) Don't allow yourself to feel inadequate. This is probably one of my biggest pitfalls.  I look at all my pins, and I realize there are so many things I think I need to do for my house, husband, kids, and family, and if I don't do them, I'm unsuccessful.  As a working mom of 3 kids who are 4 years and under, I need to set realistic expectations for myself.  I'm not going to be able to decorate my entire house for each holiday, teach my kids everything they will inevitably learn in Kindergarten, and make the cutest cake pops for my son's preschool parties.  I need to be grateful for the blessings and talents God has given me, which may not include being Super Mom, just Mommy, which is all my kids want anyway.  

So join me, fellow Pinteresters!  Let's spend less time on Pinterest and more time in the real world!

Proverbs 31: 25-31

²⁵ She is a strong person,^[d] and people respect her.
    She looks to the future with confidence.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom
    and teaches others to be loving and kind.
²⁷ She oversees the care of her house.
    She is never lazy.
²⁸ Her children say good things about her.
    Her husband brags about her and says,
²⁹ “There are many good women,
    but you are the best.”
³⁰ Grace and beauty can fool you,
    but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.
³¹ Give her the reward she deserves.
    Praise her in public for what she has done.